Being grateful...

mood: grateful


Okay, this sucks. I just finished writing a whole blog of stuff and it just all got erased when I tried to post. So I'm just gonna make this short now. So lame, I hate that.

So today there are 2 things I will want to remember. One, my little honda civic reached its 140,000 miles this morning while Fred and I drove to work. Its almost like a milestone for my civic. Its came a long way, 140,000 miles is alot of miles. I've had my car for about 8 years now, there are so much memories with this car. Good ones and bad ones. But I think that's what life is all about though. There is good and bad to everything. That's what makes life balance. I'm all about balance for being a Libra myself.

The other thing is that I bought a SLR camera, finally. A Canon Elan 7, then I got the 28-135mm lense. I've been wanting a nice camera for a long time but never wanted to fork out the money for that, now I finally did... its also sorta for my 1st year anniversary gift Fred he said. Its sweet, I love it and I can't wait to use it soon on the weekend. Freddie is gonna be my little guinea pig. I'm sure he won't mind.

I'm feeling really grateful today. Grateful that I have the money to buy the camera I like. Grateful that I have a Honda my father bought for me when I graduated from high school. Although he never really said its a high school present, to me, it is and I feel really grateful. Its exactly what I always wanted back then. White, 2 door, automatic, with sunroof, EX and I got exactly what I wanted. I know that not many people will be able to get a brand new car after high school, well kids from my school probably did, but then again, I live in the rich area near Danville so I shoudn't compare to them. I feel spoiled enough already.

Well, enough writing for today before this gets erased again. Till tomorrow or the day after or the day after and after...

What is happiness?

mood: down

Why is it that those who have less seems to be happier than those who actually have more? In our society today, is it really "less is more"? I'm starting to see it more and more true. The more we have, the more picky we get with our lives and the more complicated things get. I guess those who have less, have less to worry about, that's why they seem to be happier with their lives no matter what happens to them.

Sometimes I wish I can see my future in a crystal globe. That way I wouldn't have to make big decisions in life perhaps and it will just be there for me to see and help me out with deciding things in my life. I know I am a very indecisive person. That is only because I am always afraid that if I made the decision, then I wonder the "what if" it was the other answer, what would have happened if I chose the other path rather than what I chose today? If I could see my future, I probably would, even if its just for a minute. I do wonder what lies in front of me as I continue to age, day after day, year after year.

I know I sound really depressing right now, maybe I sorta am. I probably shouldn't be, well, I know I shouldn't be, let's say that. I guess I'm down because "he" is down so that makes me down. I guess that's what they called, when two becomes one, what he feels is what I will feel. I feel him when he is down eventhough he is not next to me. Strange as it sounds but I guess maybe that's what married couples feel from one another. Its a connection perhaps?

Happiness to me is right now but only if I saw that "he" was happy as well. I'm pretty much content with my life as it is. I'm married, I have a great caring husband, I have my own house, 2 cars, good friends, good health, and a close healthy family. What else am I asking for in life? the ones I love most are all healthy and that is the most important thing to me in life right now. Of course, the more I have, the more I'm happy with but then again, whether I have more or not at the moment, I'm still very content with my life. If I was to die tomorrow, I would be satisfy with what I have and what I've accomplished and achieved in life.

I still wonder how other people in this world interpret this ultimate question in life... "what exactly is happiness?"....